So after the recent chapter update in Gotcha!, I was wondering what readers thought, and what you’d like to see in the future of this story. I’ve got a very definite ending in mind, but there’s room to insert some variety and changes along the way. So if anyone has suggestions that don’t conflict with where it’s going in the long run, I’d certainly consider them.
For instance:
What was Valerie’s idea to prevent Lacey from getting in trouble with Mr. Helverson? How far should Lacey go with her powers?
Is she evil enough to actually kill him? Perhaps using her power to control his heart to stop beating, or throw him very high in the air before releasing him, so he falls to his death.
Does she seduce him in private and force him to worship her, maybe preventing him from being able to orgasm if he doesn’t obey her?
Does she control him some more in front of the class, and let him know that she can humiliate him any time she wants, so he’s too scared to report her?
Does she just tease him in private in front of a camera, controlling him to make it look like he was abusing a student, so she has blackmail material?
What should Vicky do to try and stop Lacey? What magic do you think she has, and will it work?
Should Lacey gain more magical powers? Any in particular you’d like to see her get?
Should Lacey’s friends stay loyal to her, or do you think one or more of them might realize she’s unhinged and do something to stop her? If so, how? Do they gain magic of their own and try to fight her, just report her to the authorities, work with Vicky, or what?
As I said, I have a definite ending in mind, but there’s room to insert additional details and ideas, if anyone has interesting suggestions.
My life will be extra busy for the next month or more, so I won’t have time to continue the story. So I figured I’d toss up this quick note just to keep the blog active and try to get some conversation going. I might post some similar “What should I write next?” type posts in the next few weeks, as well.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I wanted to say I really like this story.
I came here from Salamandro's site, so this would be a natural comparison to make - this story really hits the spot for me
because there is actual tension&intrigue. Don't get me wrong - I do enjoy his work, but in most of Salamandro's stories there
is no actual power struggle and the dynamic is a foregone conclusion. With the total dominance of sex mages, there is not
much point in their actions, besides their own gratification. Where are the stakes?
Here, we have the protagonist-antgonist playing with actual stakes, gaining power to further her own ambitions.
She also breaks the "Mean Girl" mold by being methodical, patient and even hard working and studios.
Of course, the nature of her power and her ability of power-theft doesn't hurt either, to say the least...
So
I. I would go with B. Not that Lacy should never contemplate killing someone, but I think that she would only do so during
a battle if she thought that her life or freedom was in danger, or maybe to achieve some major goal (say if a power that she really
wants\needs is used by the one possessing it to live. maybe.
Also, B is so much more hot then the other options.
DeleteIII. Lacy's power is fun and all but her position is really fragile. Like, a lone hetro policewoman could easily
end her reign of terror. What would Lacy do, telekinetically throw guys at her? Just picking combat powers will not do the job
as she is limited in affecting only those who are already attracted to her. Having limitations on powers is good writing, but
that doesn't help poor li'l Lacy, right?
If she picks up a pyrokinetic power, it would only allow her to burn those under her sexual and telekinetic power -
not threats at all. not very useful.
So the power she would probably make the most of is some mind control effect.
I'm thinking not some all-powerful mind control that allows her to command people like robots but rather an ability to brainwash those under her power and make them loyal and eager to please.
I think that the for the guy from which she will take to power it works differently. "control what you can sense", right?
So, I think that he can sense his own mind. Not as useless as one might think - modify own memory to memorize stuff, "self mind control" to ensure that he goes to the gym/studies all night (no more self-discipline problems!), control
attention span and so on. Pretty great, but when Lacy picks it up it becomes so much more useful, especially for an aspiring supervillainess.
Another power that would work great with that is maybe some sort of power-healing/enhancing power. She could mind control the one that has this power and force him to enhance her own power (probably it enhances only her base power and not stolen powers so she would not be too powerful). She could then take this power for herself, mind control Jason, heal and enhance
his power (while still keeping her own stolen version of it), and thus have a powerful telekinetic minion (that can affect anything, not just people that have the hots for her).
and if we go with the queen bee line, how about someone that can make himself have super strength? Stealing the power will
not make Lacy super strong, but she could use it on her mind controlled minions. It probably would have some time limit so it would not be too powerful. Of course the original guy with the power (after restoring and enhancing his power) would be a great bodyguard.
I'm not saying that all the powers she steals should be that useful. Some might just be fun for her to use - but these would make her a serious business.
IV. I don't like the idea that her friends would develop powers. Powers should be somewhat rare, right?
That would be too unrealistic for them to gain powers as well. Even one might be too much. I think that as long as they gain more by sticking with her, they will (and what do they really have to gain by turning on her?).
Especially if she uses her powers for their benefit.
So if Valerie has a guy she's out to get (maybe her ex), Lacy could crush his nuts for her. Or if she gains the mind control power, she could brainwash him to be Valerie's little pet. Lacy's not a boss you betray at the drop of a hat.
Thanks for the feedback and suggestions.
DeleteI definitely agree about Salamando's work. I like his stuff, but he's really into the women just being all-powerful and unstoppable, which eliminates any sense of tension in many of his stories. But his stories are always well written, and sometimes it's just fun to enjoy scenarios about superpowered women dominating guys.
But yes, I do try to write stories with some sort of conflict and mystery about where it's going next, not just fap scenes. That said, I realize that this is fetish fiction, so I'm cognizant of the need for "money shots", in the form of some sort of superpowered femdom. Sometimes sexual, and sometimes not, although usually sexual in this particular story.
I'm surprised that you said Lacey breaks the "Mean Girls" mold, but you're right. I just never thought of it that way. The funny thing is that I originally intended her to just be an embodiment of that trope, but then I turned around and made her smarter and harder working than you'd expect.
Again, thanks for all the suggestions. Two of your suggestions are actually somewhat similar to ideas I was already planning, though one of them will be approached from an odd and unexpected direction.
Anyone else who wants to jump into the conversation, please do. Mostly, this is just to keep the blog active while I'm busy with my real life and don't have time to write, but I do enjoy the conversations and suggestions.
I. I'd go with C or D personally. A feels too out of character for me, at least at the moment it does. Lacy is a bitch, but I feel like she's not that that evil, at least not yet. B on the other is hot on paper, but imo it's to much of a "Salamando Flames" story if that makes sense. Like torturing men with orgasm denial and stuff. I personally choose C cause I have a fetish on girls using either their sexuality, or in this case sex powers to manipulate men's bodies etc and I kinda like the idea that he doesn't know what's going on with his body at first. So maybe you could start the setup with C, then finish it with B if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteII. I don't know, is Vicky the secret protag of this story?
III. I think she should gain some psychic abilities and see through people's desires and fantasies. Like maybe there are some men there who are immune to her charms cause she doesn't quite turn them on, so Lacey needs to use her abilities to see through their minds on what girl they find "attractive" etc.
Thanks for posting. Hopefully, I'll actually have time (and energy) to get back to writing relatively soon. It won't be in the next couple of weeks, though. Real life is just busy for me, probably through the end of the month.
DeleteWas wondering, do you do story commissions etc??
DeleteI've never done commissions, and given how slow I am at writing, I doubt it would be a good idea to try.
DeleteBut if you have a specific story you'd like to commission, and it's intended to be relatively short, then I'd be open to hearing your idea and at least considering it. I definitely don't have time to write anything until at least the end of the month, though. Send me an email at yagsmagic@gmail.com if you want to discuss further.